alright everyone, i have an announcement to make.
OCEANIA WORLD TOURRRRRRRRRRRRR😎😎😎😎😎😎 first stop? NEW ZEALAND, land of the sheep, hobbits, and something else probably. anyways speaking of sheep, new zealand has a lot of them. like there are 5 sheep for every 1 person. kinda weird if you ask me. ANYWAYS some more info about new zealand. while there are 2 main islands that everyone knows about, there are over 700 teeeeeeeeny tiiiinyyy islands in this country as well. while similar to australia in terms of accent, they are VERY DIFFERENT, or so ive been told.
i decided to visit the north island because even though its smaller, it is the more populous one. its home to both auckland and wellington, the largest and capital cities. i had no idea that new zealand even had a capital, let alone it being wellington. so therefore i went to auckie, thats my new nickname for it. now auckie itself might be the largest city in new zealand, but its the 5th largest in all of oceania. its got around 1.5 million people which isnt too bad, and dates back to the 14th (first maori settlement) and 19th (first european contact) century! also this city is really big into sailing. like REALLLLLLLY BIG. there are around 135,000 yachts and other boats that are registered in the city. its nickname is quite literally the city of sails. and honestly it makes sense, cause everyone here is really informal. like in every way. talking, dressing, all of it. which makes it super weird and uncomfortable when i try to go shopping in my sunday best.
now because im in auckland i wanted to experience the true city life, the real hustle and bustle you know? so i decided to make my way to eden garden😁cause nothing screams city living like a botanical garden hehehehehehehehehehehehe but this place is really really pretty, like most gardens. i will say most of the appeal of it is because its on the slope of mount eden (thats where it gets the name). after the beautiful garden i decided to take a little dive😋 waitemata harbor was my goal, as its aucklands primary access to the sea, and a good chunk of all those boats i mentioned earlier are there too😇 the harbor was harboring, the ocean was there, and it was a perfect day. then all of a sudden i got this intense flashback. i could feel myself driving, cold water, and panic. turns out ive got ptsd from driving "strait" (no pun intended) into the strait of gibraltar. so that ruined my auckland experience for sure. so onto the next island!
my next island was the gorgeous sunny and bloody papua new guinea!!!! this was my favoritest place to visit in ALL of oceania because i felt right at home. for all the chickens at home, papua new guineans are just so cool💫💫💫💫💫💝💝💝💝💞💞💞💞💔💔💕💕💕💕if new zealand is the land of sheep, this is the land of many languages. there are over 800 of em!!!!!!!!!! oh and theyre also obsessed with this nut thats kinda like a drug that turns their mouth red. so as someone whos gums are always bleeding i knew i was where i belonged😎now theres not really much to do in papua new guinea, so this trip was all about talking to the locals. thankfully out of 839, english was a language in their rolodex. i walked up to this group of people and overheard them talking about a barbecue. i didnt even know they had barbecue over here!! they saw me standing awkwardly in the corner and gave me an invite!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE😁😁😁😁😁😁so since theres not a lot of transportation in the island so we walked to the other side of the island to try the delicious meats😊so we got to the barbecue and they fed me a LOT. i got to try a whole variety and they were just so yummyyyyyy. these were rare exotic meats too! ive never tried larry or mike before! until now i guess😉anyways they tried to kill me and eat me so i flew away using sheer willpower to the next joint💕
my final stop in my oceania leg of my world tour (terror) was nauru, which is such a teeny tiny petite little island. there literally only 10 thousand people. for context where i live has 60 thousand people and is larger area wise too. now there was still tons to do. like...ummmm uhhhhhh. OOH! so i visited the one hospital they had😜😜😜 i did do an oopsie and accidentally infected the patients with an ancient curse hehehe😝😝😝but its fineeeeee they just need the blood of the earth which is literally just red gatorade. i spent a couple of hours at the beach, and then a genuis idea hit me. why not just expand the landmass? maybe theres such a small community here because they just dont have room??? so i called up gaia and told here to multiply the landmass of nauru by 30. then she snapped her fingers and poof! naurus big now😁the unfortunate side effect was the complete leveling of all the buildings but they can rebuild that stuffs so easy to do.
i had to skedaddle though cause they didnt seem to happy but like theyll get used to itttttttttt. see ya later!
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