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Resurrecting the Mongol Army

 

what would you say if i told you i resurrected the mongol empire😖


now to backtrack to the beginning of my mongolia excursion. i landed in ulaanbaatar, the capital and largest city. now this city has quite the history. there have been people living in the area for over 300,000 years, which doesnt sound real to me but i digress. like thats paleolithic era type shit. anyways the city itself has around 1.6 million people, while the second most populous city (erdenet) only has around 100,000 people which also doesnt sound real (cause mongolia isnt a country). its also 4,000 feet above sea level!!!!!! like WHAT???





anwyays when i was snoozing on the flight from nauru to ulaanbaatar, i got a troubling vision from the shadow man. he told me to find three ancient tablets scattered throughout the country. so of course i said yes!😍😍😍

so the first tablet was located by the genghis khan horse statue. now this statue is located around 30 miles east of ulaanbaatar, and is on the bank of the tuul river. its 130 feet tall of stainless steel and is apparently the largest equestrian statue in the world?

 

i didnt know that that was a thing that needed to be ranked but hey its fun. the statue also faces east towards where he was born! according to my vision, this was right where genghis khan found a golden whip (according to legend), so i walked into the visitor center in the pedestal of the statue and started digging. i then managed to scrape out the tablet once i had thoroughly destroyed the floor. the blood soaked tablet told me to head to my next destination, the erdene zuu monastery.

now the erdene zuu monastery is the earliest surviving buddhist monastery in mongolia, and its right next door to the capital of the once glorious mongolian empire😍😍😍



this monastery was built wayyyyyy back in the 16th century, and has gone through so much. its been damaged and partly destroyed😖😔😓and its so saddddddd. now the shadow man was pretty vague on this one, so i had to snoop around. the first tablet took me only 30 minutes, but this one took a whopping 50 minutes. THATS SO LONG😫😫😫turns out that damn bitch put it in the roof? like IN the roof. IN IT. so now the monastery has 10 foot wide hole in it, but hey blame him not me. 


THANKFULLY the final tablet was just next door in karakorum. now when he said that the final tablet was in the old capital i thought that there was going to be at least a holiday inn or something but NOPE. ITS ROCKS. its the ruins of what was. this was once a glorious capital built in 1220, how dare it not survive for 800 years?!?!? literally so rude. anyways this tablet was just lying there in the field and so i snatched it up. but as i was putting it back, the three tablets fused together and all of a sudden these undead soldiers just started rising up from the ground. 


needless to say i got scared and ran. if you or a loved one comes into contact with an undead mongol soldier RUN AWAY.

anyways see you in cambodia!



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